Having been used to house help and nanny, being home with my two kids 24/7 doing everything alone (when Tatay Tope is in school) is a challenge I was ready to take head on.
As expected it is not easy. BUT What makes this challenge even more challenging? Being in the most quiet place in the world (in the worlds I’ve been, that is)!
Aside from keeping the kids clean, full and happy, the house livable, clothes kept, feeding bottles clean, etc. etc…. I have to keep my normally loud children from getting too loud (meaning any noise at all, in this area). Jacob and Miyuki, like any other Filipino kids are very talkative (as in non-stop, especially Jacob. Miyuki is starting also), gets easily excited (by shrieking), laughs a lot (as in full blast)… and they express their feelings of frustration, sadness, anger or irritability by crying out loud. Whew!
I feel bad for scolding them often because they get loud or make too much noise almost always for the entire day. It is not suppose to be their fault, because they are kids. That’s how they are. But it is just how it is here. You’d feel bad to make any noise because of the deafening silence. It breaks my heart to be Mommy Dearest to my kids in many moments of the day because of this. T_T
I need lots and lots of patience. Most of all, I think I need God’s guidance. I know with Him, I will be better with this full time parenting in this new world.
“Be with me everyday Lord. So I will be the parent that you want me to be. Thank you Lord!”